The Collupsus

Sinking sand best describes what I feel right now, being stuck in it. The harder I try to get out of it, that faster I sink, and if I choose to ignore it, I sink at a much slower rate, but I still sink. I have very little knowledge of sinking sand, so I don't know if it is possible for a person to get out of it on his or her own. In all of the movies I've seen that feature such an element, someone has to be on the other side to pull the sinker up, or the sinker has to have something to grab onto to pull himself or herself out.

I wonder if it is deadly to make such a metaphor, for I have a feeling that the metaphors I create about my attitude and where I stand create that attitude and that step.

You know? After I think about it, sinking sand isn't really a good match unless I include the several different objects around me that I can grab onto. Inspiration is one of them, being inspired by anyone that creates or that entertains me. When I get inspired, I feel like every single bit of depression, drops away from me, like I've suddenly grown a pair of wings and can fly as high as I want and as far away from depression as I want. This flying away from depression isn't something that I consciously do either. It's more automatic.

Another of these grab-onto objects is happiness, when I look for happiness, I usually forget about depression completely, especially when I dive really really deeply into happiness.

And this is called cutting it short because I need to do work. (Actually, to tell you the truth, it's because I'm facing writer's pull, which is kind of like writer's block save for instead of not knowing what I want to write down or how I can continue, I rather feel like continuing would be pointless or stupid, painful.)