I think I've finally found a way to define my problem

I've finally found a way to define my current problem. Basically, I've restricted my brain from doing anything freely (at least most of the time). I've gotten some rope, wrapped it around my brain several times, and put the rope in the grasp of some part of me that pulls whenever my mind starts wandering, which gives me a mental shock of sorts and keeps my brain from moving freely. As a result, my thoughts move sluggishly a lot of the time, and it's very hard to get invested in any task.

There are two times however, when this tightening doesn't happen. The first one is when I'm in a new situation. This could be from thinking a thought that is new and fascinating, or visiting a place I've never been before, or talking to someone I've never talked to before, or playing a video game that is very different from the ones I've played before, or anything that my brain doesn't immediately know how to process. It seems that the part of myself holding the rope has no idea what to do when I'm thinking something I've never thought before.

The second time is when I'm actively working at some sort of creation, whether it be a drawing, a piece of prosaic fiction, a piece of music, or a php programming job. Blahblahblahblhablahblahblabaldfasbl.

The solution to my problem should be pretty simple: work. All I have to do is keep doing work, specifically creating. As long as I do that, my brain will be working at its full capacity. The one problem is that work isn't immediately easy. It takes a certain amount of investment time, during which it feels like the worst kind of torture imaginable. This investment time can last anywhere from ten minutes to two hours depending on my mood and the temperature of the day.

That's all.

I guess I've gone back to good ol' not too much thinking when I write this stuff down. Oh, well. At least I'm actually writing, right? Heh heh, see what I did there? Heh heh heh, I'm so clever.

So long.