I just figured out when it happens most often

I just figured out when this sadness thing happens most often, and I thought I should share it with you lovely readers. My mind goes into worry whirlpool mode most often when the energy is slowing down after a great expenditure of it, that is when I've used up a great deal of energy and my body wants to relax, to chill down, to tone down, that sort of thing. That is the time when depression has the most powerful influence.

However, this isn't always the case, for if I have just finished something I am proud of, something that I tried my very best at and succeeded in some way, it doesn't affect me at all and I go into normal relaxation mode. Yup.

So the solution to all of this trouble is obvious, isn't it?

I have to try my hardest at everything I do.

Which, as easy as it sounds in text, is very very hard to do in real life because it requires the use of willpower, which is very hard to use the reserves of once you get past your oil... hold on, let me explain:

In life, there are two types of action. The first type of action is called intrinsic action. It is the kind of action that is very easy to do no mater how you feel or how mentally tired you are. It consists of the activities that you have practiced and practiced and practiced so many times that you can do them pretty much automatically, like walking, talking, eating, singing (for those of you who love to sing), driving, playing video games, reading, writing (for those of you who write for a living), engaging in social conversation (for those of you who aren't me), browsing reddit, etc., things, in other words, that are easy as pie, almost a part of your very nature. When engage in this type of action, little to no resistance acts against you. Your mind lets you simply slide along and do it, and sometimes it even gives you a push.

Then there's the second kind of action, which we will call educational action. Educational action is the kind of action that is not easy as pie, the kind of action that you aren't good at, the kind of action that doesn't feel intrinsic at all. It consists of activities like learning a new language, exercising when you haven't done it in a while, public speaking, that kind of stuff. When you engage in this type of action, it grinds at your gears and makes you feel terrible inside. Instead of letting you slide along and do it, your mind pulls against you and tries to prevent you from doing it. There is a huge feeling of resistance, a huge feeling of friction that is very hard to deal with. The only way to get this kind of action done is to use willpower.

 Your spirit is like a bucket, and willpower is a mixture of water and oil that gets poured into it every morning when you first wake up. Ninety percent of it is filled with water and ten percent with oil. The oil part of willpower is extremely easy to use. It's like riding a motorcycle up a hill. Using it, you can force yourself to do anything you want, and you'll be able to do it without much resistance at all, even if it's miles away from your comfort zone, even if it's something you hate with a passion, because oil is extremely slippery and will pretty much render any frictional resistance against you completely meaningless. However, once that oil has been used up, you're left with water, which is much, much less slippery than oil, and therefore much more difficult to use in doing an educational action. Compared to oil, it's like pushing a motorcycle up a hill.

It's a poor simile; I know, but I hope it makes the picture a bit more clear: in order to break myself out of this worry whirlpool that I have created, I must use more than just the oil of my willpower. I must use the water too (wow, that's a really bad simile, man, woah, call the simile police, man, call'em and hangup because you do not want to get caught reading that simile! Weeeoooweeeeoooweeeooooo!).


Yup, I need to go do my let's play of Chrono Trigger now.