Waffles

Okay I just really need to get this out in the most haphazard way possible because I don't want to think of the perfect way to say it right now. I just want to say it.

I need to stop searching so hard for the absolute truth. That's what I've been doing for these past several months. I've been searching for the absolute truth when said absolute truth doens't really exist. When I try to watch a movie, I end up getting frustrated because I don't understand every little thing that is going on, because I don't understand the situation and dynamic 100% clearly. This slight frustration leads me to thinking about being frustrated, which leads me to taking my focus away from the movie and actually missing some of the important stuff and through doing that, justify the little devil floating behind my head that's saying "You can't understand movies anymore."

This little frustration comes from me searching for the absolute truth of the movie. "What is the purpose of this scene?" "What does this mean?" "What does that shot signify?" "What is happening?"

That kind of thing is bugging the hell out of me, man.

Oh, an also, I  think I'm looking back to the past throught painful glasses and assumming that in the past I didn't understand something when I really did understand it but just didn't care.


Done.